March 22nd 2012~ 133 days

March 22nd 2012

I have many in my life whom do not have the same beliefs as I do.. Since Tommy's passing we have seen so many signs of God's grace…. one we shared with people, Tommy's Balloon.. but there have been so many others. One was so very powerful, it brought to light what I had in my mind. After Tommy's memorial service…. we received so many sweet and beautiful cards. It took a few days to open them as it was very hard to see other physical reminders of our sweet Tommy's departure from this life to his heavenly eternal life. Jack opened one that was in such a beautiful envelope, inside containing a card… this card above all others was particularly joyful, hopeful, beautiful and truly a gift from Jesus to us. It was a custom card, soft vanilla in color, a sheet of paper folded over… with a sketch of Jesus holding a baby… See the person whom sent the card had not met Tommy, hadn't seen how I held Tommy~ in his favorite position… I was completely dumbfounded as to the resemblance of this tiny baby that was held in Jesus's arms. It was Tommy. No no it wasn't grief that made it look like him…. here is the story…………

I wrote this to her~ 

Hello there! Hope all is well with you.. I just had to write and tell you about your parents card to Jack and I. I am not sure if you had seen it or not, but (obviously) your mom made it. The sketch of Jesus and a baby. I have hardly been able to look at it without crying. In the sketch Jesus is holding a baby the EXACT way I held Tommy.. in fact the baby has a soft open mouth as if it were sleeping... which is what Tommy used to do... The card hit me so hard because it is what I needed to see~ Tommy in Jesus' arms... It has brought me such comfort because it put a picture to what I know is true. 

This is her response~

I have tears running down my cheeks. I know exactly what you are talking about because I woke up oddly early the morning of the memorial service and my mom was sitting at her computer crying. I asked her what she was doing and she told me God woke her up during the night and told her to go to her computer. She said He told her exactly what to do and she just listened. He was obviously trying to send you a little squeeze. I'm picturing you snuggling your little love just like that now. Hugs!

As I said yesterday was a hard day… while at home, I passed our front door… I saw a package sitting there. It was wrapped in beautiful paper~ I read the card and it was a gift from my friend and her family… I opened it and there in a beautiful frame… it is the sketch of Jesus and that sweet baby.. Jesus and Tommy. I don't think it was any coincidence that she dropped it off yesterday, that I was having such a tough time… The hardest morning yet… Jesus had a special delivery for me… reminding me that even though I miss Tommy so very much…. that he is in the arms of Jesus… The picture brings peace, hope, a reminder, love and joy…. If I could bottle up God's love, I would. I'd give it to all… If anyone has ever had doubts about faith, I would say talk to Jack and I~ we have been given so many precious gifts since our sweet Tommy was conceived… yes conceived~ these gifts He has blessed us daily, even in the hardest of days He tugs at the heartstrings of others to bless us. 

Love B