February 22nd
My heart hurts.. like a ache that won't go away... a heartbreak that will last for a lifetime. I sit and endure the pain, knowing that it is no longer a stranger in my life... it is something I am slowly "getting familiar" with. At first this missing, this pain, this unrelenting longing for Tommy was scary, unfamiliar and oddly I couldn't make sense of it~ not in the non accepting way just in the figuring out and almost reconciling everything that happened birth to death. I believe that God has a beautiful plan for me... it is a plan that has bumps and potholes but also moments filled with joy, laughter, love... I realize I do not discriminate between the hard moments in life and the joyous ones. I found that both allow you to learn, allow you to grow, allow you to become the person you were intended to be... I miss Tommy with every fiber of my being, I long for him each and everyday... I have found that my love for him has not been halted by all this but rather it grows, just like how my love for Estella grows... Truly love has no boundaries... for that I am blessed.
Love B
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