January 10th~ 61 Days

January 10th 2012

61 days.. Today Estella accompanied me to BSF (bible study fellowship) for the first time~ they have a great kids program… After BSF we went to Target, I am a BIG fan to talking to my kids while shopping (at any age~ from babies to well so far 4yr olds).. Very rarely do parents get the opportunity to have a great dialog with little kids.. by that I mean Estella sits in the cart, I talk about what we need to get, then I get to ask questions, listen, laugh and enjoy her.. it is amazing being at nearly eye level with your child.. As we walk up and down the aisles we begin to weave a conversation.. I am ever amazed at how she begins to open up, talking about any and everything on her little mind! Today she just blurted out "mom, I told the kids at bible study about Tommy." I asked how she felt about it, if the kids had any questions… she then began to talk about how she missed Tommy and how "cool" it is that he is in Heaven. It reminded me of how I explained to Estella how Tommy is in Heaven and his little body is here….

Estella's favorite thing to eat are black olives.. go figure any olive will do, but black is her fav!

The Olive.

We were preparing to bury Tommy.. Estella asked "If Tommy is in Heaven, why is he (his body) still here?"~ clear out of the blue (aka God's divine words put into my mouth so I didn't mess it up) I said "Well… Tommy's spirit is in Heaven and his body remains here" with a quasi puzzled look on her face… I said you know we are like olives.. you know how some olives have pits? like those deep purple ones and some of the green ones.. well our bodies are like olives, when we are here alive on earth we have a body and a soul~ now our body is the yummy part of the olive the part you eat and our soul is the pit! Now when we die, God removes the pit from our olive and takes it to Heaven and our body stays here.. like the black olives the pit is removed and all that remains is the yummy eatable part of the olive.. 

She took to that idea like a fish to water! She still talks about how she is a FULL olive, pit and all.. Estella fully understands that Tommy isn't coming back, that he died and is in Heaven… I read in a grief pamphlet about children grief that most 3-5yr olds think that the brother/sister will come back, that it isn't a permeant thing, that it is just an absence. I thank God Estella understands, understands Tommy will not return, BUT that she will get to see him in Heaven.. Often when she talks to me about her idea of Heaven, about Tommy there is an air of excitement~ I love that. I love the fact she is so carefree with her love for Tommy that it transcends "location"… 

My Blessing for today~ Estella's love for her brother, for Tommy. For her sweet little spirit!

Love B